just another brick in the void

I feel this weird sense of nothingess... everything around me blocked from me, not being able to differentiate between things far away and in my face, right under my nose. i can decide whether my happiness is a delusion or my depression is. The depression feels more real though, cause the hurt always lingers around just waiting for any opportunity to pounce on me like a happy meal. I look a the lives of other people around me all of them revolving around something or the other, material things filling up what i can only assume are their spaces of nothingness. But Why is it that all the other people are never content with so many things in their lives, while i sit content with the air around me. they look down on me for not having the things they do, But i look down on them for they never find the feeling of contentment, that drives them. But on he downside contentment coupled with laziness can be a dangerous combination. One that can permit my void of nothingness to swallow my body as it has my mind. So the time has come ladies and gentlemen for me to entertain myself cause as satisfying as good ol' nothing is, the loneliness and boredom are beginning to get to me. I'm sure ill find something or he other to do... play with my yo yo, get a job, quit my job, make some money, take over the world yada yada yada. But from what i've learnt from the experiences of others the feeling of nothingness can't be killed. It never existed in the first place. The reality of my nothingness seem's real only to me though and for all you know, Nothing is real.