Oooga Booga Boo

As i look at the world from a distance i cant help but pity the fools... All of them with their meaningless emotions. all of them with their meaningless traditions. they amuse me. I amuse me. I find myself like them emotional, vulnerable with naive'ness (if thats even a word) so many of them all of them different, all of them unique, yet all of them so much the same.Their naive emotion, I learn a lot from them, I study them, I play with them, even mess with them.... they amuse me.

As i look from the distance my narcissim forces me to see me... in the midst of them so much the same and yet so different. i see the sides of people i see the sides of me. I feel me losing myself to a dreaded similarity. ... i see myself in others more often than people see themselves in me.
And as i held it as well as i could,holding on to thoughts, beibg alone, complicated, underestimated and misunderstood. I simply decided to have some fun.

i know im weird i know im strange. i know all of this is a little deranged.... Stop... but then ask yourselves this... Who isint?...

A mind can be a dark place to be. It can offer a living hell or a sanctuary... but you see me... ive always been about vareity.

maybe your reading this and thinking its cheesy.... but maybe im sitting here thinking "fooling you is so easy!!" :)


The world thinks they know me... they hide behind their masks and pretend to laugh while they secretly envy me for not having One. But the truth is as it is now commonly i have many masks. Except theyre very very different... and theyre a lot more convincing than yours.

Maybe im just talkling and pretending to be all cool and mysterious like... maybe i just like the attention, maybe im not as smart as i think i am... but who knows?!... I could be wrong.....

The little things that we do :)

well heres wat i did today... firstly wait i do belive in God One small little side of me is atheist but mostly i belive in God and Jesus Christ and everything the bible says... but i am NOT holy or anything like that... anyway i was randomly surfing porn and i never go to the live chats or any shit like that (jus the free stuff is good enough for me :) ) ya and there was this random chick on live chat and pretendin to be all interested in wat random guest no:1,2,3 etc were saying and acting like she might take her clothes off for free and all that shit... and i was watvching it for like 20 secs got bored and was about to close the tab... but heres wat happened some fanatics call it holy inspiration some people call it random nice joblessness some call it preachy but i dont kno wat it was that came over me (my decision is leaning towards the first though)... but ya i us started telling that chick that Jesus Loves her and she doesen need this and that she looks pretty and smart and she doesen need this... ok i am a psychologist wannabe and i consider myself decent at reading people... but fuck the way this womans facial expressions were changing was jus soooo weird it fuckin messed with my head!!... she told her guests she'll brb and left... and im jus siting there staring... its crazy all i did type 3 sentences before jacking off and i jus messed with a womans head in a good way... kinda makes me thinkdid i just do something good for God!... see i belive that God loves us and all but the way humans have twisted religion for their own use is just messed up... and if God does exist (i know i jus said i belive in him... deal with it im Skitzo) does he really judge us on whether weve been good children or naughty children?!?!... i mean humans have made God look like the Boogey man... its like if u don eat your vegetables Gods gonna punish you for wasting food!!... i mean Come on!!... and smoking!!... theres a verse in the bible where Jesus says what goes in must come out its whats in the heart that matters... how come no one ever brings that up... no its always your body is the temple of the living God... thats wat the Bible says so its wrong to Smoke and all that... well i really have no clue wat to belive in and about Gods purpose for u in life!... thats just brilliant... (not sarcastically) i mean the side of me that belives in God is like... Wow!... Now thats a cool God!.. i mean our purpose in life could be anything there was a hooker in the lineaology of Jesus... THAT was her purpose in life that her Great great gretat great great great great ........ grandson would save the world!... (this is the Christian side of me talking btw)... but im sure weve got more than one purpose in life... i mean who knows its probably like the butterfly effect thing... i might have stepped on a cigarette today that might have inspired another guy to smoke who might have started a fire that killed someone and that someones loved one may turn to God!... the only thing i can conclude from my messed up head is that we are SMALL!!!... there is a bigger picture...i mean fuck cmon...  u seriously saying that we came from fuckin evolution!!! ok i have messed up thoughts on that too... humans cannot wxplain existance because we have boundaries!... the main one being Time No matter wat we're trying to explain we have the boundary of time... wat came before the first organism?... wat came before the gases  wat came before the sun???.... Enter God!! now if there is a guy up there who the boundary of time has no power over and if he actually Loves us... and loves us enoughto forgive us when we piss him off... wow... thats jus... i don kno... if he does exist hes the coolest most merciful ever... watever all i can conclude is... argh i don have one... but im sure he exists... cause i have faith and thats like a completely different train of thought...  maybe on another post... but i can conclude this... the purpose of life the will of God and the commandment of Jesus all boil down to one little sweet thing called Love :)

 

introduction!... it rhymes with seduction!...

ok then.... a blog... hmmm... i really like the idea of a blog i mean u can write wat u want totally uncensored your innermost feelings and blah blah blah u can actually get human responses from humans and no one even knows who u are!!... wow i just explained a blog on a blog...  anyway this blog should have been called random rantings of a lunatic insomniac cause face it im random and i rant.. atleast on blogs... cause guess wat u don kno who i am!!!...  except maybe one random guy from work and college who taught me how to do this but argh wat the fuck!... this aint my real blog beeetch!... :) anyway let the ranting begin ta ta ta da!!... did i also mention i like the internet its sooo cool!!... its like u can get info on anything at all in the world!... anything!!! heres the cool part everything and heres the best part everything posted on the internet is by humans... so technically the human race knows just about everything!... on second thought maybe i can make this random blog public... maybe just a little!... but fuck think about having your real blog public.... like fuuuuck!!! ive had a real blog for few days and the thought of anyone even remotely close to me reading it jus fuckin scares me!!... can u like imagine all your thoughts and emotions all jus known... damn... and me of all people my best friend's known me for like 3 fuckin years and she knows me the most about me and all but she doesen even kno too much about the real me or as id usually put it the real meS but explanations on that in my *tam tam tam taaaa* real blog!! anyway this blog is just for random crazy things like for example how come introduction generally means showing you something that u show off andlooks flashy so itll get people to be interested in the whole thing and seduction... ya well u get the point the heading wasn supposed to be deep or anything i just like RANDOMLY rhyming words..... i hate curds... anyway these posts are just mostly just arguments with myself and random stuff..