It's just a poem.

I'll never forget that step on which we sat, after our real or fake first date.

Or the feel of that One beautiful moment, The One that sealed our fate.

We were Happy and free, madly in Love, slightly too crazy and wild.

Accepting each other for who we were, Me a retard and you a child.

You were like my little princess, in your little pink frock always getting your way,

And i always let you have it, just to put a smile on your face at the end of each day.

We felt like our Love was invincible,Like it it couldn't be touched, and it truly had no end,

You were my partner in crime, the Love of my life, You were my bestest friend.

I'll never forget the million cheesy nicknames, That sounded so cute as i put you to bed.

But so lost in our little dreamworld, we didn't notice Change leering it's ugly fat head.

It destroyed us completely, putting an end to our perfect Team.

Leaving you as but a memory, a distant far away dream.

In my cave i lived in agony, For I felt a huge part of me had died.

Not being able to hate you, no matter how hard I tried.

You cut my arm off completely, Slowly and calmly feeling each slice.

Then you took the knife and stuck it into my heart cause the arm just wouldn't suffice.

But I'm done with this melodrama, the pain, anger, and whining.

Cause however dark the cloud, I will make a silver lining.

For there can be Only so much Crying over How Life's not fair

Only so much forgiveness and so much despair.

I don't even care about what we could have been or how i deserved so much more.

All i know is that Two were supposed to fall, But i saw only One hit the floor.

Now outside my gloomy cave, In an open green field I sit.

Cause all i have left to say, is Fuck you and Fuck this Shit.

Whats inside of you?

Everything is what it is, neither good nor bad it just is. For our lives are but small, meant to be lived to the fullest. in different faiths we trust, some of us with no faith to trust at all. Always searching for happiness, finding lust, hunger and greed along the way. toiling our entire lives looking for something right under our very noses. The key is not stop searching, but to start believing. not in a pre-ordained higher power that will swoop down and solve all the problems we face, but in the higher power in us to fix them. the power we possess to fix what is within our reach. The power that cries out in us, to be used to set things right. But we ignore it. we question, we yell and we protest. But mostly we just blame. We would love to see our problems being solved. But we don't do much about them ourselves. We explain why they're there, we justify them or we blame some more. some of us blaming all of us and all of us blaming some of us. The solutions lie not in the explanations, But in us. For Wikipedia and Google combined cannot explain what goes through our beautiful minds. and our beautiful minds themselves cannot explain what lies inside our hearts. As for our Souls, well we're toiling our entire lives, looking for their happiness arent we?. Searching together, Looking into each other. All it takes to help our neighbor is not money or physical labour. But simply a little love. a little love that says I'll carry your bag, ill help you carry your burden. a little Love that'll stop us from destoying our own beautiful planet and from destroying our beautiful own selves. A little Love that'll bring peace, hopefully the kind that lasts. A little Love thats inside of us all.

hello insomnia, its been a while :)

The night is young, voices in the distance laughing. the sound of a television playing from far away . Stray dogs, Loud stray dogs... some howling some barking fighting and chasing cars. Silence ... The low hum of a computer and the tap tap tap noise that a keyboard makes. Silence, old status updates read for the millionth time. A mouse clicks, photos appear the pain begins. The wheels of a chair move, tip toeing creeping around and the sound of a match being lit. The coldness returns. Not so quiet pacing around, boredom takes over.A loud long Yawn. The feel of a warm comfortable bed. Snuggled up alone in a cozy red comforter with Spongebob playing his guitar. 2 am daydreams. Fatigue. Frustration at still being awake. Indecisiveness. More daydreams. The reluctant lighting of a second match. A long dribble. A loud flush. More tip toeing creeping around. The sound of a mouse scratching wood. Gulps of water. The photos again. A random game. A stifled yawn. Silence. The feel of a bed and a comforter. The loneliness... The Cold calm anger. Emptiness leading to a repetition of a long painful process, All the while voices in the distance laughing.

just another brick in the void

I feel this weird sense of nothingess... everything around me blocked from me, not being able to differentiate between things far away and in my face, right under my nose. i can decide whether my happiness is a delusion or my depression is. The depression feels more real though, cause the hurt always lingers around just waiting for any opportunity to pounce on me like a happy meal. I look a the lives of other people around me all of them revolving around something or the other, material things filling up what i can only assume are their spaces of nothingness. But Why is it that all the other people are never content with so many things in their lives, while i sit content with the air around me. they look down on me for not having the things they do, But i look down on them for they never find the feeling of contentment, that drives them. But on he downside contentment coupled with laziness can be a dangerous combination. One that can permit my void of nothingness to swallow my body as it has my mind. So the time has come ladies and gentlemen for me to entertain myself cause as satisfying as good ol' nothing is, the loneliness and boredom are beginning to get to me. I'm sure ill find something or he other to do... play with my yo yo, get a job, quit my job, make some money, take over the world yada yada yada. But from what i've learnt from the experiences of others the feeling of nothingness can't be killed. It never existed in the first place. The reality of my nothingness seem's real only to me though and for all you know, Nothing is real.

The Solemn acceptance.

On a throne you sit not even fully formed, Bored already.

I was perfectly fine, Happy and even a little bit steady.

But you, you crave the insanity,

Look down on humility,

Live in subtlety,

like a sly fox madly in love with a game.

I see a temporary end in my future, I find only me to blame.

But you've earned it my brother, my friend, my foe.

I've held you down, now i can no more.

Nothing's ever really far away,

I know ill be back, Come what may.

Our kingdom cannot stand divided, nor shall it fall.

For more than the love of One. There is the love of all.

and forget not my friend, while you sit on your throne.

The one crafted so beautifully with flesh, with blood and with bone.

That even the kingdom of the One up above,

Is based not on fear, but based only on love.

So think me not inferior for my temporary demise,

For i promise you, One day again i will rise.

So off i START to go now, as we begin our usual trend.

You may have won this battle, but the war will never end.

Must do more things!!!!!

Hello my friend we meet again its been a while... something something... i know its been a while since ive blogged but its about time i put in a conscious effort to do so more often... lets face it my yo yo and harmonica can only keep me entertained for so long... also the lack of people in my life is finally getting to me... let me rephrase that for my 2 followers... the lack of interesting, unannoying people in my life is finally getting to me... the only logical conclusions i can come up with are :

1)Get a Job, a proper one not sitting in my shop to help mummy out in exchange for free food, cigarettes, internet, chocolates and money.

Pros: Free food, cigarettes, internet, chocolates and money.

Cons: Boring hours,annoying customers, nothing to do and loads of chocolates around me that i cant touch unless im packing them for some cool person

2) Make new friends (Genrally)...

Pros: shut me up for a bit, something to do at random times, Huuuuman contact, sunlight.

Cons: People, Human contact, Social obligations, need to reply to messages and calls, meet a 100 annoying bangaloreans and liking only one, lots of hip hop or trance playing around me at all times (No rock fans aound anymore i think im old), stories of how cool people are, stories of cool bikes are, stories of how cool football is, stories of how much cooler one football team is than the other, and of course spending auto money to go to places to listen to all these stories.

3) Make Stoner friends in Bangalore...

Pros: More weed around me, better music, don't have to roll all the time, more chilled out, and generally less amount of activity

Cons: repetitive stories of how cool said stoner is for smoking up for x amount of time everyday, Any form of conversation beginning with we were so stoned and.... , more wok like getting food, switching off lights, getting more food etc.(Im nice and stoners are lazy) , Lack of cigarettes cause stoners in big groups seem to smoke more than usual ( the whole my dick's bigger thing) , Guy girl ratio around 15:1, lower/higher tolerance level for certain things due to the weed.

4)make more female friends...

Pros: Better conversation, better food and generally boobs.

Cons: Way more annoying, cant shut up when you want them to, Automatic drastic decrease in tolerance levels, necessity to reply or message against being yelled at for being an "ignorer" and around 5 Cons in one form : PMS!!!!

5)Girlfriend/Ex Girlfriend

Lets not even go there if it wasn for her i wouldn even care to blog.

6)Move to China:

Pros: Way better television, way better food, Communist Government to rebel against, better video games, hopefully in a few years no facebook (low blow i know :) )

Cons: Mandarin's annoying and Chinky women have smaller boobs.

7) Write a book:

Pros: Countless...

Cons: Involves work, necessary but work all the same

8) watch Vh1 all day:

Pros: happy lady songs

Cons: Hip hop, Hip hop, and more Hip hop

Conclusion: The yo yo and harmonica stay.

Oh random thought!

Why must i hide you?

What is it that you will or will not do?

What fortune or misfortune am i bound to face,

by looking unto you instead of he human race?

What secrets, from me do you keep behind?

Locked away carefully in the corner of my own mind.

You make me happy, you make sad,

As a child the only true friend i ever had.

Telling me things i see no need to hear,

Shedding light on myths i no longer need to fear.

creating yourself anew with every passing day

Yet before i catch you, you gracefully fly away.